Just to put your mind at rest, the blog is a little behind
I am not able to help in the same way on this project, so I am mainly cleaning, and cleaning and cleaning.
I walk around the property and wonder how we will ever be finished, I really can´t see the end of this project, John just says don´t think about it and do some work, I have no idea why he still thinks I would find a comment like this funny, but for some reason he does.
I actually feel quite lost here, I am still struggling with the language, I still speak no more than a couple of words to any body, I have been out with the couple from Manchester to watch the football and they do seem lovely, but I still miss my friends from France, I still miss walking into the town square and speaking to lots of people there, I miss my old life.
I am still very lonely here and homesick, I start to worry that I will never settle, I love the country and the people and the food but something is missing.
It makes life harder for both of us as we are not doing this project with the same excitement, or I´m not, I look at it and feel overwhelmed, John is working like mad and I know it is frustrating for him, that I am not doing as much, but what can I do other than clean and if he makes a joke about it again, I think I may just throw the bucket at him.
It is so hard to describe how this feels at the moment, I hope it is just homesickness and that soon I will get over it, but I am panicking that we made the wrong decision, well it is not we, John is so happy here, I panic that I have made the wrong decision.
It doesn´t help that that the weather is cold and miserable, where is the sun? Apparently this has been one of the coldest and wettest winters ever.
I see a face book post about a meet up in the old village and I leave a comment saying how much I missed them, then I receive a message from the new couple here, saying we will go out and have a nice time, this is such a lovely gesture and for the first time I actually feel that this could work.
I think I will always be homesick for France, I loved it there, but hopefully once the weather and my language skills improve things will get better.
If you are planning to move to another country be prepared for days like these, they will happen no matter how much you love your new life. But the most important thing is to support each other, John and I had been bickering rather than supporting, and this does not help.
You need to talk to each other, and see each other through the rough patches, as this is all it is, a rough patch, admittedly it has lasted longer than I had hoped but I know it will get better, once we can use the kitchen and actually be able to sit somewhere in comfort, once the garden is completed, really once I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, but for the moment I can only see non stop dirt and no end, I actually start to wonder if it is homesickness I am feeling or just a deep feeling of overwhelmed, I have a feeling it is the latter, which improves my spirits along with a Skype with some old friends.
- Don´t beat yourself up if you are not happy everyday
- Living in a renovation is not always a bed of roses
- The TV programs are not real (they have crappy days as well)
- Easier than it sounds, but try not to take out your frustrations on each other
- But remember if you feel like this constantly, then have the discussion about whether you made the right decision, there is nothing wrong with saying. I have changed my mind
- Learn the language of the country you are going to, it can be difficult but it makes life a lot easier
- Stay in touch with old friends, but try to meet new people
- Remember you are only having a bad day, it will get better and if it doesn´t read the above tips